Four years ago, Daniella was new to her company and eager to make her mark.
When her manager asked if anyone wanted to run the annual community impact day, her hand shot up. She genuinely cared about volunteering, had a personal connection to the non-profit they were supporting, and as the new person, it was a fantastic way to meet colleagues.
It was a perfect fit. At the time.
But just like doing multiplication flashcards makes more sense when you’re in 2nd grade than when you’re sitting in calculus, we grow and things change.
Flash forward four years. Daniella is no longer new. She's being given increasingly high-profile work, managing a growing team, and in the window for a huge promotion. She also still runs community impact day - all 100 hours required to organize it - every single year.
Here's what nobody told Daniella, and what I want to make sure you know:
The system is designed to add things to your plate. It is not designed to take them off.
Every project you raise your hand for, every task that lands in your inbox, every responsibility that made sense at one point in your career - it stays. Unless you actively negotiate it away.
This isn't about laziness or lack of commitment. It's about recognizing work that was a growth opportunity three years ago may now be pulling you away from the work that actually matters now - to your career, to your team, and to your organization.
How to know what's worth negotiating away
Not everything is worth the effort to remove - here's a simple filter to figure out what is.
Ask yourself:
- Is this meaningful to my review? When you picture sitting across from your manager at year end, sharing your three biggest wins - is this on the list? Does it connect to your KPIs? If the answer is no, that's a signal.
- Does this drain my energy? Some projects light you up; those are often worth keeping even if they don’t directly fuel your career. But if it consistently leaves you feeling depleted rather than energized, that’s another story.
How to get it off your plate
Once you've identified what qualifies, use the relational ask formula:
👉 Past Performance + Future Value + Your Ask + Collaborative Question.👈
Here's what that could sound like in practice:
"As you know, I've brought on two large accounts in the first half of this year and believe I can do that again in the second half if I can focus on our largest clients. To do that, I'd like to discuss either bringing someone onto my team to manage our smaller accounts or transitioning those to someone more junior who could use this as a growth opportunity. What do you think?"
Notice what this does: it reminds them of the great work you’re doing, shows that enabling you to focus will drive more impact for the organization, and offers a solution. Instead of saying "I don't want to do this anymore" you’re saying "here's how we can serve the business better."
By the way, Daniella eventually had this conversation, proposing that they transition community impact day to a new team member who would get a lot out of the experience while enabling Daniella to focus on her higher-impact assignments. Her manager loved the idea.
One hundred hours back. Just like that.
What's on your plate that made sense years ago but has become a weight as you've grown? You might be one conversation away from getting that time back.
Sincerely,
P.S. Looking for an interesting read? Ron Friedman's new book - based on one of the most popular articles ever published in Harvard Business Review about high performing teams - just came out. I just ordered my copy, which will be a nice counter to the Young Adult novels I’m currently reading 😊. You can order yours here.
